Successful mothers are not the ones who have never struggled. They are the ones that never give up, despite the struggles.
This week, for obvious reasons, got me thinking about motherhood. Lately I’ve been complaining a lot about how tired I am, how busy I am, and how little time I have for myself. In this loop of quiet selfishness I had a mom reach out to me and ask about books for single moms. Needless to say I immediately felt like an asshole because I constantly brag about how my blog is for every parent, for every grandparent, and for every caregiver. I truly want it to be but when I’m working on something or sharing something I automatically picture my family as the “sample family” that is doing whatever activity I’m hoping you all will do with us.
Here’s the problem. I’m in a very typical family. There is The Dad, myself, and Jack. A large percentage of the US population is anything but that. In fact, it’s kind of the minority. It made me realize so many things about myself, about the group of people that follow Jack’s Mom in Austin, and about what I needed to work on.
I want every single mom out there to know that you are super human and amazing. I don’t want to take from moms like myself because I know that I try my best to be the best mom possible but single moms…you have to be the best mom AND the best dad and frankly, I don’t know how you do it.
There are moments when I am grumpy and tired and I am just done and guess who swoops in and gives me the break that I so desperately need. There are two of us so when I’m ready to tap out I have a partner ready to step in and help. Who gives single moms that needed break? The Village we used to cling to is now a broken system of partial and half-assed government help and a minimal amount of familial help. I’m sure there are some mommas out there that may have a phenomenal support system but honestly, I know the reality is that single moms have little to no support and yet you are miracle workers.
Single moms manage to be both parents. They manage to work full time, provide meals, a loving home, and kisses on an unlimited basis. They can tackle a full time job and attend a kindergarten graduation all while handling doctor’s appointments, dentist appointments, and school lunches… all before 11 AM.
This means little coming from me as I don’t share your experience so your worth is only as much as I can empathize with but I want you all to know you are phenomenal. On those days when you feel like you’re breaking and you simply can’t change one more diaper, wipe one more nose, or clean up one more spilled drink I want you to remember that YES, you can because you are amazing. I need you to remember that many of us are in this with you even if we have partners or family to help. We understand loving your child so much that you would sacrifice anything for them. We understand the days when our partner is at work and we’re lonely and have been talking in baby-ese all day while eating cheerios off the carpeted floor. I want you to know that if I could offer more support I would.
My promise to you this Mother’s Day is that I will remember you. I will remember you when I write my blog posts and post events that are coming up. I want you all to know you are loved and that some days will be easier, I promise. I also need you to know that you are doing a phenomenal job and that your tiny human(s) loves you because to them, you are the world.
For all moms out there (grandmas, aunties, sisters, friends, and two dad families) – Happy Mother’s Day. Remember that you’re amazing and you are loved.